In spite of being at the top

So we have read that two government officials are under arrest for what seems to be corruption. These two have come a long way in their own rights. I mean, it takes shitloads of hard work and dedication to be where they are at today. However, the coverage reveals a fact - nobody is immune to problems/temptations in human economy.

While all this time, we have been conditioned to think and assume our public service officials uphold the best standards and conduct, to read of their possible improper conduct with a supplier can be shocking. Either they are too weak to withstand her beauty, or she is that powerful and blessed with her looks that men caved in.

Choice???

Writing under influence

"It's the first day of the Lunar New Year", I tell myself. I downed 2 cans of beer and started feeling sick. I was chatting with Ben on his impending shifting to Singapore and apparently, our friend seems to have some wrong impression about me. Either he feels I am being over chatty or attention seeking (He told me he needed to get cigarettes and went offline abruptly). Oh well, I know I am not going after him. *shrugs*

I am actually amazed I made to 2012, with His grace. I could look back at the obituaries page and to a certain extent, He save me from having my picture planted in one of those obituary advertisements. Do I have trials coming my way? Of course! But He is my grace and deliverance. Sometimes it's so easy to proclaim faith and it's one of those lucky times when your mood is so good under the influence of alcohol that not even the joker down there can penetrate with his negativity.

I officially declare that yours truly no longer have the kind of alcohol capacity like a few years back, and proud of it.

PS> I am not drunk as I write "Blessed year of the Dragon! May it bring forth good health and fortune to all!"

Half zombified

Not me, but an old woman who keeps spirits in her house. Aunty related to me her house was plagued by hauntings recently. Her elder sister, H, went to be a confinement lady in a house at Upper Thomson. The newly-hired caregiver to an infant walked into the house and had odd feelings she couldn't explain. It wasn't her problem as her job is to take care of the newborn.

The domestic helper told H, "Grandma is very strange... She shuts her room door tight and windows are closed all the time. It's always dark in her room and no one is allowed to go in." H suspected something was amiss but again, she told herself so long as the witch (if there is one) doesn't harm her. Three days into the job, things started to happen.

H had trouble sleeping not because of a crying baby, she was often "disturbed". The Buddhist beads she wears round her neck snapped and she began to have bouts of breathlessness and physical lethargy. H eventually held out for one month before telling her employer she is quitting.

Finally, the "witch" extended her hospitality by slipping a bag of oranges into H's luggage bag without telling her. H noticed something extra and the witch sheepishly answered, "Oh! I am afraid you forget to take so I took the liberty to put the bag of oranges into your bag." Never did H realise, there was something else in the bag of fruits.

H got home and she wasn't spared of more disturbances. Taps turned on for hours when nobody was home. Even aunty felt an strange sense of eerie chill she couldn't explain. Aunty finally asked her elder sister if she brought "something extra" back. It was then H spoke about the oranges. Aunty nudged her to look through again. True enough, hidden in the bag of oranges was a bell. That bell served the purpose of attracting spirits controlled by the witch to harm.

H hurried to Johor Bahru to seek an exorcist. Upon meeting him and showing the bell wrapped in excerpts of Buddhist chant, the monk straight-away said, "Yes... there is something in that bell. The master of this spirit is no longer human, but half zombified. He/she has been consumed by the spirit." 

When I heard Aunty's account, I wondered what the monk meant. Aunty said, "养这鬼魂的主人已经变成半妖了..." Aunty recalled H relating how the witch looks like. Her face is always powdered till very pale, and when one looks at her, there is a sense of eeriness. It becomes obvious that something is wrong with this person.

Aunty's words to me, "I grew up in a kampong and black magic was a norm then - especially what is commonly known as Maoshan Black Magic. Once a person gets too deep into such occult practice, it becomes an obligation for the practitioner to harm a person every week, just to please the spirit. It can be physical harm, it can also be destroying relationships, marriages etc. The objective is to destroy someone. If the practitioner doesn't, the spirit will torment through physical pains, sicknesses and other forms of suffering."

PS> True story... Do you know someone like this? Rather, do you have someone like this in your house? Beware, you can be her next victim, not because she wants to harm you, but she no longer has a choice.

This is directed at particularly II

 

As I was saying, this is directed at particularly one reader who thinks I deserve a lousy life just because I don't trust all who call themselves "Masters". He/she thinks I look down on those who can tell accurate fortunes. I am gracious enough to assume this commentator read it out-of-context at first. However, after making a personal attack at me, I have no choice but to offer an objective illustration to facilitate effective use of those brain cells.

Maybe the heavens is watching my back and it's somewhat sending reinforcements to back me up. Lo and behold! It's a monk's words, from Buddhism teaching. I invite that "Anonymous commentator" in my last entry to zoom in on this article and read it! And yes, I forgive him/her...

PS> Even Buddhism doesn't condone Fortune Telling! Question me? Start with this monk! His name is there.

Even counsellors don't pity

A man in his 50s wrote to "Aunt Agony" in the Filipino press. He confessed he cheated on his wife and ever since, his wife is not able to come to terms with the betrayal though she has forgiven him. His wife told him pointblank that even just the newspapers remind her of the painful betrayal.

There was once he was sick and his wife took care of him, but he lamented there is no love. He felt his wife is just going through the motions by being a good Christian. He said he is hurt and asked the counsellor for some suggestions how to help his wife move on.

I had a good laugh when the counsellor said, "What was it that Mahatma Gandhi said about guilt-"…that the human voice can never reach the distance that is covered by the still small voice of conscience…?" And you're asking how you can help your wife forget your betrayal of her? You mean-besides you dying?

"You have some gall to expect warmth when she could have stuck a knife in your heart when you cheated on her! She could probably have even gone scot-free citing that legal loophole called "crime of passion!" Shouldn't you instead be thanking the heavens for her valuable "good Christian" virtue?"

Her parting words to him was, "Be man enough to suffer a while! You've been the creep-and that takes a lifetime to forget."

Master of Bullshit

I see many people crowding around shelves carrying books on horoscope predictions, such as also flooded the Internet where people who call themselves "Master" actually warn individuals on impending catastrophes. Some actually paint a picture too good to be true that you actually wonder is life a spectacular bed of roses.

My point is: many consider horoscopes and fengshui Environmental Science. It's some skill/art of balancing energies of Metal, Wood, Earth, Fire and Water. So apparently there's a certain formula that helps the geomancer reach the destination. But what intrigues me is, why isn't anyone able to answer this burning question of mine, "How come geomancers have different views on the same issue?"

If an individual's elements and zodiac signs are standard (there are only 5! and 12 for chinese!), it should be quite "predictable". But it seems you can have totally opposing views on the same horoscopes. So tell me, who to believe? Rather, who's bullsh**ing?

Female MCP

I was at Suntec City with Benji since our friend couldn't get over this washed-out series of Polo T-Shirts sold at the DC Super Heroes. He got Green Lantern and now he's after another one - tossed between Robin and Superman. So while he was just looking at the pieces, some 3m away stood a lady whom I mistook for a staff. I uttered, "Excuse me? A little help here?" She glanced at me and looked away, proving herself nothing more than a shopper. I sheepishly turned away and directed my voice at the cashier.

So Benji was asking for a piece his size and the lady shopper inched closer, moving onto another wagon. I couldn't help but notice her 36-36-36 figure in a tight black number. Yes, it's that glaring and I whispered in Benji's ear, "How do you feel about the lady in the tight dress, 2 o'clock." He turned, looked at her and back at me, had a 5-second pause and said, "Nonya, Bak or Khee... nah not Khee... She can't possibly be!"

Then this shopper moved onto the changing room, stuck her head in there and spoke. I heard a man voice coming out and I thought, "Guess some couples share certain traits." To my surprise, a lean, bi-spectacled guy walked out! So I thought to myself, "She's popped a few babies I guess..."

So Benji got his shirt and I was telling him my thoughts. Moments later, our paths crossed again and both of us had to look at them. The couple wasn't holding hands... Our subtlety failed at that instant. I confessed, "Look bro, I hate to be shallow but if I am a man, I would expect my girl to be of a decent standard. I mean, I can't see myself playing Saint and go all noble about 'so long as your heart is gold even if you look horrid'... No can do."

Benji said, "Of course lah! I honestly expect that guy's taste to be better! And yes, I am not turned on by plus-sized girls who think they are Victoria Secret material. If you can pull it off, by all means. But if you can't, do yourself a favour and don't self-humiliate by wearing the wrong clothes!"

Am I a male chauvinist pig? No, because I am not a man. But if I am one, I will be. But I will have the credentials to qualify as one. Yes, I expect my man to be good-looking, to be of a decent standard. I am not apologising for it. So if you are below average looking, check to see if aesthetics is part of your requirements if you wanna judge me. Trust me, if you insist it's not, I am sure you are a liar.

PS> If you are fat or in worse cases, obese, don't penalise your partner for looking at attractive people. It's human instinct. Don't demand the person to accept you the way you are, cos you are not returning the favour. How so? If you accepted him/her, why are you acting up when he/she looks at attractive people?

On the other hand, maybe he/she has already accepted you are going to look how you look permanently. That's why he/she looked elsewhere. Granted?

The Art

There's only one reason why I end up in Chinatown. No, it's not because I wanted to jostle with the others in the crowded streets in preparation for Chinese New Year. I went to get paint. So the brother walked past a stall selling roasted chestnuts and reminisced his childhood shelling those nuts.

I have told him these nuts are not for the impatient, I happen to be one of them. He bought half a kilo anyway and started.

Frustration kicked in as many broke into halves in his hands. So I took on a few. Upon finding out I could shell slightly faster, he acted up and said, "Oei! Not so fast leh! Stressed leh!!!" We managed to get a few nuts out in one piece.

I read about the chestnut and apparently, each kilogram will give you some 300g of shells. Another trivia that may interest you is, it's the only type of nut that has Vitamin C.

Imagine half a kilogram may bring you some 40 chestnuts? This is only all that came out of the shells in one piece. The art of eating Gau Lak, is gau4 lat4! The brother is complaining of sore fingers....